Yes, sometimes people really do "just want to cuddle." And sometimes, that is all some of us would like to do.
For the aces who are playing the dating game and are dealing with your fair share of frustrations, here are some simple affirmations:
“The first time I was told I couldn’t be asexual was because it would be a waste of my pretty face and nice body.”
“Um, I don’t know. I just told you I’m not into that.” “Maybe you’ll find the right person…”
“Preference” may perpetuate a violent cycle of the subjugation, murder, and neglect of lives and bodies outside of those who have been privileged to be coded as “normal” due to capitalism.
“But holding representation to a high standard matters, too. I want media that helps questioning aces find themselves, and does not reinforce harmful attitudes to the general public.”
“When one assumes cisgender and heterosexual existence to be ‘normal,’ their actions and words based on this belief directly serve the agendas of European colonizers.”
Volume 2, Issue 2 of The Asexual journal on Asexuality and Representation includes artwork and writing by various ace-identified authors who think of representations of asexuality in varying respects, whether as expressions of the self and community, as readings and interpretations of media, and as opportunities to reimagine the current social and sexual landscape.
“The way I experience love is meaningful, whole and enough. But maybe this is what they mean when they say sometimes love isn’t enough.”
“Asexuality isn’t a focus of the book, but to have the word there in black and white, however small, is a powerful, joyful thing.”
“Sexuality is weird and complicated both with and without an A preceding it, but sometimes labels help.”
Art by Daniela Illing.
“…the pieces all fall into place and you can’t imagine ever not knowing what now seems like the most obvious thing in the world: you’re asexual.”
“In The Stumbling Dead, there appear to be no romantic or sexual relationships within the Horde, but the friendships every zombie forms are incredibly strong and devoted.“
“For the first time in my life I had an answer other than "broken" for the way I experienced the world.”
“But in retrospect, I can see why this game spoke to me: it validated a part of me that I did not yet know existed.“
“I look forward to the day when I feel more comfortable saying the words out loud: I’m asexual.”
“It’s something that is often assumed, and not often discussed: the stereotype that people with disabilities do not have sex or have conventional relationships.“
“I’m so much more complicated than our neat, simple and tidy words can describe, and maybe we all are.“
“We should not be bombarded with messaging that tells us that we are missing a prerequisite to fulfillment and life satisfaction, and that there is something defunct within us.“